February 2012
17 posts
Boys.
Wow. Well I can now tell that all the boys up until now that I have “fancied”, I have actually just had the hots for. Maybe that’s why I usually get put off. This is a stressful feeling lol. But mucho progress! :)
Yeah… I’ve officially ‘got it bad’ lol. For now.
Are you belly fuzzies trying to tell me something or not? Because you little bastards are going effing crazy. lol.
Mummy’s hen do starts tomorrow…. :)
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
– Theodore Roosevelt (via giovannafalcone1)
Belly.
Bully fuzzies. Belly sickness. Make up your mind and, to be honest, go away! It isn’t even important. lol. I’m a silly being. Now… Advice place… you best be nice and help my friend or I’ll not be happy!!
Just something a certain someone should know...
Being completely and utterly unbiased, I don’t know anyone else who is as capable to do ANYTHING as you are. That is the honest and realistic truth. The proof has been before my eyes for years. So you should trust me. Don’t
be afraid or disheartened by anything. You can conquer it… with a bit of faith and hard work :) I do and always will believe in you!
A bit...
… confused. As usual. Confused by whether it is possible to really adore someone so much without fancying them? And maybe perhaps I do? But I don’t think I do. So, I don’t know. Also confused by whether my brain is EVER going to agree with itself on the aspect of relationships/ boys etc. Feeling extremely sick with dread today, but smiling a bit. Fucking weird. Ah well,...
Was I saying I was all good thanks to Martin and Benedict earlier?
Well… sometimes my feelings get a little too much for me. Currently my feelings regarding my lack of love life. Do not know why it is bothering me so much lately. IDIOT. But yeah… feel a bit… crap. And, genuinely wondering whether I am ever gonna meet someone I like that likes me back. Almost 8 years have gone by...
Poetic...
“Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick, 21 yrs old. Next to her is her fiancé, Nick, 23.
(Pic1) This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005. Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy. Here Nick awaits while she finishes one of the sessions…
(Pic2) Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine, Katie took care of...
Just a few thoughts...
Stace is off to get her tongue pierced while I stay in bed so I thought I would have a bit of tumblr time. I wont lie… A little scared about the tongue piercing for her lol. Because I am a worry wart and have heard horror stories lol. But will be cool. Jenni is getting it done too, but TWICE! Even scarier lol.
Went to London yesterday to see Matt Willis in Wicked. He was rather...
staciecavell asked: Ok, i am ashamed, i just fangirled over the hobbit. Got a little bit excited. lol. man, we are losers. xx
The world's most beautiful profile...
Just… do me. lol
Unromanced
So I still haven’t posted a big ranty confusing blog about the issues I’ve had with myself lately but moving onto something else anyway…
Sometimes lately I feel really shit about how much I don’t have a boyfriend. Ok… really shit is the wrong phrasing. It isn’t that negative or depressing… ok, I really want a boyfriend. And sometimes I really feel it. You...
January 2012
28 posts
Fed up.
Ok, so apparently I lied when I said I’d be fine tomorrow. Today is tomorrow and I do not feel fine. I feel a little less upset which is good I guess, but now I also feel immensely stressed on top of the crapness. What is WRONG with me? I hate this negativity. But just can’t seem to shake it. Which is making me feel even more like a twat on top of my already feeling like a twat. Man....
Nothing.
Feeling like absolutely nothing. And a twat. And scared. Mainly because I don’t feel like I know myself very well lately at all. I’m ok, please don’t think I’m not. But just… one of those moments. Been building up to it lately I think. No doubt tomorrow I will be fine.
That moment...
That moment when you discover there is someone else like you in the world. I mean, not entirely like me in every way, just one certain way that I thought no one else was like. I mean, I don’t even know this person. I met them once through knowing their other half. But still. It’s like… comfort. Peace. Or something. This certain thing about me isn’t even an issue right now...
The Mojo is dead. [warning, rant ahead]
Well and truly.
So, it seems this would be night 3 of feeling like a big bee has come along and completely taken my buzz away all for itself. It’s stupid. I know the reasons. And they are all fucking stupid ones. But the fact that they are stupid ones is probably making me feel worse because it just makes me angry at myself as well as down. Bleh. This is no fun AT all.
I will briefly...
Right....
Today has been one of those awkward days. One of those days that makes everything positive I have said in the last few entries or whatever seem completely null. Of course the positive things are not null, but we all have these days….
I’m shaking. I’m drunk. I’m wet [mainly because I am drunk]. And I actually feel like drinking more just to drown my sorrows and pass out [a...
I'm weird...
Seeing Billie and Van together makes me so sick-to-the-stomach jealous… and I’m not even Johnny lol.
I feel bad for Van. He’s wonderful. And talented. And gorgeous. But he provokes so many negative emotions in me. lol.
What was I saying? Oh yeah… I’m weird.
Props to papa...
To be fair… Although it says a lot that I presumed what I presumed earlier…
Dad was actually sick. And he has also said he is going to stay over night after Encore! to take me shopping the next day, so he really does want to take me.
Bless him. He’s not a bad guy. He’s not a bad father. He just has problems. Which I’d be completely understanding about [and always...
Guess who's shopping trip got cancelled...
Grrr!
Even though apparently he’s sick so I can’t technically blame him for that. Plus he’ll call me selfish and mean, considering it’s my Nan’s funeral tomorrow. I do feel selfish. I do feel inconsiderate. But I’m fed up of keep being reminded how right my Mum was for all those years and how wrong I was to put so much sweat, tears and anger into sticking up...
4 tags
Faith diminishing.
If my shopping trip is cancelled tomorrow a certain someone is going to have one very very pissed off daughter to deal with.
Bleh.
Maybe he is just feeling a bit under the weather and will be fine tomorrow. And said shopping trip will commence. It just sucks that I’ve gotten to the point where I’m doubting him this much that the first thing that comes to mind when he mentions...
New Years resolutions...
- Try to work more hours so I get more money
- Stop spending so much
- Make it to Edinburgh in one play or another
- Stretch everyday for next 3 weeks to improve my flexibility for Encore!
- At least START saving towards my next NYC trip.
- Start recording myself singing and listening back [which I seem to have been quite afraid of lol] so I can improve.
- If previous resolution is not a...
It’s pretty wrong how dramatic juicy story lines that Stace and I invent, involving awful upsetting dramatic things, can make me feel the same excitement I get from Christmas! Haha. But then awful heartache on my characters behalf. It’s an odd mix of emotions lol.
I really need to be going to sleep man… Night!
cominupshort:
American Idiot - 1st National Tour...
Boredom on a Friday night.
Me and Stace are really just fucking geniuses sometimes. Shame she has to up and leave me right when we are basking in our genius glow. Bleh. Come down much? Oh well, I have a busy few days so it should go pretty quickly.
I am now trying to perfect and touch up my movement/ dance for my Flaunt It number in Encore! And it has made me realise that my flexibility needs to improve… pronto!...
Good night 2011, Good morning 2012!
A few days late [as I always am with tumblr], but it is now 2012!
I just wanted to say a few things about 2011 before I head off on out into the future….
2011. Well, what a year! Absolutely the best I have had in a long time.
I discovered some amazing new people. Both to idolise and to be-friend. I explored the furthest out into the world I ever had, and discovered the most amazing place...
Feeling very alone in my war with love lately. Like an idiot. And a bit fed up of it…. The feeling alone in it, not the war with it [it’s healthy… right?].
Love love love love LOOOVE. It makes the world go round. Just… awkwardly.
"I shot drugs for the first time today"
shesarebel25:
Faaaabulous. Miss it so…
December 2011
13 posts
A legend.
So, I haven’t posted this on here yet. Haven’t really been on tumblr over Xmas though. It’s always a busy time. I’m on my own today though… Not a fan in the present circumstances, because I don’t like to dwell on them too much. Makes me feel ever so awkward and sick.
But anyway… She deserves a mention in every place my life is discussed. Completely out of...
Reblog if you think John Gallagher Jr. should have...
Abso-FUCKING-lutely!
