The Mojo is dead. [warning, rant ahead]
Well and truly.
So, it seems this would be night 3 of feeling like a big bee has come along and completely taken my buzz away all for itself. It’s stupid. I know the reasons. And they are all fucking stupid ones. But the fact that they are stupid ones is probably making me feel worse because it just makes me angry at myself as well as down. Bleh. This is no fun AT all.
I will briefly detail the reasons I can think of right now, mainly because I haven’t actually said them out loud yet [it may make me shut up & stop moping around like a bitch]…
Reason 1. I don’t get men. At all. I can’t think of ONE that hasn’t let me down in recent times [except for Brian actually].
Reason 2. I am apparently a completely crap judge of character when I actually thought I was a good one.
Reason 3. I make a twat out of myself. ALOT. And I never seem to learn my lesson.
Reason 4. I occasionally remember how much better life would be if I was just a lesbian. To be honest lol… which irritates the hell out of me because I just can’t be. Blah.
Reason 5. I am really and truly starting to hate my drunk self. SO much that I don’t wanna get drunk from now on. Which sucks because I have just about learnt how to avoid hangovers, so I like being drunk these days.
Reason 6. Writing was something I was quite confident that I was OK at. It never stressed me out really. And I now feel completely rubbish at it.
Reason 7. A repeat of the above but with regards to acting. And feeling shit at acting is even worse considering it’s what I wish to do with my life.
Reason 8. I feel like a twat, in every possible way.
In fact, the only thing in my life that I feel slightly better about than I ever have is singing. Which is bloody weird. Nice. But, you know, it’s not like I’m ever gonna make it as a singer or anything so it hardly matters really, especially next to acting - my chosen career path. Blah.
Why am I so boring? Why don’t I get people [including myself]? Why am I so fucking awkward? Why am I not really that good at anything except being a twat?
There we go. Rant. Done.
Promise.
